Sunday, August 22, 2010

how to cure the world of evil

okay, so here's my idea.  it covers so many bases--a multitasking idea.  it was inspired by an article in today's NY Times about how the increasing, or increasingly visible, anti-muslim attacks are fueling the taliban types' calls for destroying the west b/c it wants to destroy islam.

first, we build a huge coliseum on the site of the world trade center.  then we get hold of [i'm not sure yet how we get hold of them; it's an idea in progress]...anyway we get hold of all the taliban-types in the world, and all the western bigots who really do want to destroy islam, and we put them in separate cages, and on special days--i'd recommend religious holidays of any persuasion--have huge gladiatorial combats.  like the real ones, you know, to the death.

this will help the economy enormously, b/c of course we'll charge high admission fees, and there will be plenty of seats in our coliseum, with the first few rows very expensive, with special prices for group orders. tourism to new york will soar, and pay for tv will cost a lot;  if we limit it right, hotels all over the country will do whopping businesses because they will be the only place you  can watch it on live tv.

of course our main market will be reasonable muslims and christians, but that's a large market, and if the first few combats do as well as i think they will, we can find ways to market to other constituents.   there must be many jews who would enjoy watching christians and muslims battle it out.  buddhists will be a harder sell, because they don't believe in violence, so maybe we can arrange for a few combats that aren't to the death, like those compassionate bullfights where the bulls don't get killed.  that would add another advantage because any combatants we don't get killed can be recycled for a later performance.

i know this isn't a new idea--i've read numerous fantasties about putting all the warriors together so they can kill each other off and then leave the rest of us in peace.  but you have to admit it's a very 21st-century spin.  and even some republicans might support government funding for such a useful public project, when they realize how much money it will bring in.

1 comment:

StevenC_in_NYC said...

Nice post. Clever and on target!