Saturday, July 2, 2011

Beware the Barbarians!

just when you think they can't get any crazier, they do.  they, of course, being the ultra-conservatives.  the newest contributor to the crew is the husband of America's [wannabe] Next President, Michelle Bachman!  mr. b. hasn't been visible much, and now we know why. he's an evangelical 'christian counselor,' and he's crusading against ...the homosexuals!!!!!! well, okay, wifey has been doing that for months.  but his arguments.....

one of his theories is actually fairly old, so old that i thought it had long ago retired. schools are discussing homosexuality in classes, he says,  thus 'opening the door' for students to get interested and explore, which will lose a lot of souls. he goes on to explain that some people don't worry about the homosexual menace, because they think the percentage of homosexuals in the country is fairly small.  not so! it seems small, but that's only because schoolkids aren't taught that gays are sinners; they are instead being told that gay people just like the rest of us, and should be treated as such.  it seems that though homosexuality is  unnatural and generally disgusting,  all a kid needs to do is meet a nice one or hear that they should have right like other people, or think about that possibility, and bingo! your son runs off to the Village and your daughter grows hair under her arms,  and there goes civilization!

this leads me to his next comment, which i suppose is a logical extension of the old one, though it had never occurred to me before.  i was actually sorry i heard this on keith olberman's show and not on rachel maddow's.  i love them both, but maddow's sense of humor has that great, exuberant joy in the idiocy of the human race that enhances her wit and, for that matter, her seriousness.  nonetheless, to olberman goes the credit of playing a tape of the would-be first gentleman at a speech.  homosexuals, intones mr. b. emphatically, are 'barbarians.'  i'm pretty sure he repeated the word; i know he emphasized it.

i love the image this conjures up: hordes of  gay men viking their way through the streets, swords flying every which way,  leaving dead and dying hets in their wake,  stopping only to swig rotgut wine,  belch, and rape their more appealing male victims. [apologies to the lesbian barbarians reading this, but somehow i get the impression that it's male homosexuals he's focusing on.  maybe like queen victoria, he doesn't think women really do such things].

is it possible that the guy ate some funny brownies one day last spring and watched the stonewall documentary? and maybe channel surfed and found himself in the middle of a movie about ancient rome? or has he been taking history lessons from his wife and her friend sarah?


Bob Lamm said...

There's a big problem with this guy's approach. He is unaware that, like his wife and Sarah Palin, the vast majority of people in the U.S. don't know a damn thing about history. And, therefore, they don't know who the "barbarians" were. But, incorrectly, people see the term "barbarians" and think of pirates. And those pirate films with Johnny Depp have been really popular. Consequently, calling gay people "barbarians" is actually making MORE eight-year-olds decide: "I want to be gay!!!"

Baysage said...

This guy is a certified dingbat. But like many such, God talks directly to him. So what are we lesser beings to do?