Life in the Castle

happy and busy. haven't been posting b/c there isn't much to say.  great bunch of kids and some of them even seem to be doing the reading!  depression still present, but more like a tiny thread in my soul, not my major existence.  though it doesnt show, i've been doing a bit of writing--expanding one small piece here into what i hope will be either a short-short story or a series of vignettes.  not much time for writing, but may and june will be a lot of time which i hope i'm sane enough to use for writing.  meanwhile march 1 i go to  london/paris for a week on an expensive tour i really don't need but will motivate me to get there! old friends to see, familiar and beloved sites--and will no doubt have more to say when i get back.  this is just to confirm my existence to those of you who check the blog.... 

Why I Didn't Brush My Teeth This Morning

and so there's this little ladybug [here in Nederland they call it 'goddeinstbeestje, or god's beloved little animal], anyway there's this little ladybug in my sink.  she can't fly; though she doesn't seem to be injured and maybe is just too young to fly yet, and she won't walk onto the piece of paper i try to catch her in.  she walks to the top of the sink and then, like Sisyphus or robert the bruce or whoever it is that keeps falling back and climbing up again, she falls to the holes in the bottom of the sink and then climbs back.  she doesn't  push a rock, she carries her own giant weight on her back. and one way or another she will soon die. and should i, afraid to death of death, hurry her out of mortality? and that's why i didn't brush my teeth this morning and why, yes, i wouldn't hurt a fly.